I am not that old but i love writing and I am inspired by love. I have written a paragraph below. PLEASE read the whole thing and make suggestions! Anything like what to put next or change this here to this... THANKS GUYS
L-O-V-E. A four letter word that sends people crazy. Love can overwhelm us with a multitude of great emotions or make us as happy as we could ever be. It can bring us happiness or pain, but love it love. Along with happiness depression is a factor of love. We can not all get what we want or the person we love may not feel the same way. This depression will lead people to do awful things. It is not anyone鈥檚 fault it is just how one鈥檚 mind reacts to severe rejection. Once we commit to one person for our life that love never dies. First love is something all people remember for their entire life. Love is when you would give your life in place of another person; when you want to spend the rest of your life trying to figure that special someone out; and when you can not live your life without the person you love most.|||I%26#039;m not that old and I love to write, too! Except I am inspired by pretty much everything. I could be eating chips and watching TV and suddenly find myself thinking how few colors are really on the screen and analyzing every detail of the chips. Sorry, that%26#039;s beside the point.
Advice - Don%26#039;t state what love is. Describe it, more deeply, if you can. Like how two people feel as though their souls are linked. Stuff like that.|||Its cool... but... nothing where i%26#039;d get an epiphany from|||%26quot;happiness or pain, but love it love%26quot; First off, change %26#039;it%26#039; to %26#039;is%26#039;.
%26quot;Along with happiness depression%26quot; Next insert a comma in between happiness, and depression.
%26quot;We can not all get what we want%26quot; Change, %26#039; can not%26#039; to %26#039;can%26#039;t%26#039; it flows better. Also add a comma after %26#039;want%26#039;, another after (In the next half of the sentence) a comma after %26#039;or%26#039;.
%26quot;It is not anyone鈥檚 fault it is%26quot; Next change the %26#039;it is not%26#039; to either, %26#039;it isn%26#039;t%26#039; or %26#039;it%26#039;s no%26#039; (your choice)
%26quot;First love is something all people%26quot; Comma after %26#039;First%26#039;.
That%26#039;s all I have, hope it helped, otherwise, good luck, it%26#039;s very good!
